Blink of an eye

I got to work the other week, oblivious to what possible dramas might be brewing in that mind of hers. No doubt it would be somebody else's fault, most likely mine.

I could sense her walking towards me in my peripheral vision.

She stood over me and coughed, so I did what was expected.

She was a firm believer of dressing up for the right occasion; appropriate official attire, painted face, lips, nails and sensible dress shoes; she wasn't fooling me one bit.

She was here on business; needed to know the proposed tax rate for the next financial year; she needed it for a paper she was putting together for the Deputy Director.

She's one of those people who always has a worried and annoyed look on their person, like they need to be somewhere else but are always  being held back by the incompetence surrounding them.

 I answered her and went back to surfing the Internet; I was planning on going for a holiday to London to catch up with my ex. It had ended badly and I was constantly trying to make amends, desperately trying to convince her that even though it may have seemed by my tyrannical actions and lack of intimacy that I didn't love her; it wasn't the case.

 

The difficulty of convincing someone of that is greater than convincing a patriotic bogan of the benefit of multiculturalism to his beloved country. Yes it may be difficult at first, taking into account each other's heritage and upbringing but in the long term it will be of great benefit to everyone.

 

…"Rack off, mate, don't piss in my pocket and tell me it's rainin'. Look around ya, dick face, what dyu see? Harmony? You're dreamin' mate, the Government's dreaming, in fact the whole frigin' world's dreamin'"

"You must have faith and believe."

"Believe this!" he said in anger as he rammed his fist up to his elbow in some imaginary unholy place…

 

No sooner that I'd given her the answer she came back in a huff and demanded to see me regarding some issues she'd liked discussed.

"Yeah, okay." I obliged lackadaisically.

She let out a loud enough snort for me to notice her frustration.

I let it go over my head; I wasn't in the mood for her melodramatic trivialities.

She closed the door behind her and sat opposite me.

"I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?"

"I'm pregnant." She reiterated

"I thought you were on the pill."

"I am."

"Well!"

"Well, what?" she fumed.

"Hey this was just a one night thing, you know. And you assured me you were on the pill…you were the one who, well…" I was in the middle of searching, more like stumbling through my words trying to take in what had just been dished out to me while my mind was trying to hide in 15 different places all at once; who says you can't be in two places in one time; I was all over the place except where she wanted me to be, so she took it upon herself to stop me right there and then.

"I don’t want anything from you, okay. I'll deal with it, don't worry. I just wanted you to know that's all."  

If she was trying to inject a little dose of guilt into my mind, it wasn't working; it was having the opposite effect. In fact I found myself getting quite indignant; how dare she slammed this lump of futile hope in my face and expect me to just roll over and play possum; well it wasn’t happening.   

We didn't mean anything to each other and we both knew it; it was as if we had dared ourselves; could we actually sleep with someone whose personality grates and offends every fibre of our being.

It was more of an act of hatred rather than an act of sexual desire on both our parts.

 

Suddenly right In the midst of my mental hide, seek and hide again, I noticed a tear or two in her eyes as she shifted the aim and intensity of her lasering fix away from my head towards the table.

They weren't gushing out like from a burst water main, which I half expected, knowing the type of person she was or thought I knew, it was more like a very small amount of liquid slowly forming underneath a faulty pipe connection till it became pear shaped and too heavy to cling to its dignity that it just has no choice but to let itself eventually fall to the ground; It wasn't serious right at that very point but you just felt if you didn't attend to it soon, there'd trouble further down the line.

 

My position moved from one of unyielding defence to one of all-encompassing accord; from Rudd to Gillard in a blink of an eye. 

I was in for the long haul and I knew it; I also knew I wasn't as tough as I had convinced myself and she wasn't the bimbo she had wanted everyone to believe.